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Being egoistic somehow has become something negative.
“Oh, he’s so egoistic, he’s only thinking about himself.”
We hear, “be there for others”, “be helpful” and all this kinds of things.
Yes, be all those things. But first of all, you need a healthy dose of egoism.
And here’s why.
If you take good care of yourself, treat yourself well and make sure you are emotionally strong and self-centered (in a good way), then you can help others.
It’s like on the airplane. When you lose cabin pressure and the oxygen masks fall down, what do they tell you to do?
Take care of yourself first, get your mask, pull it on, make sure it sits tight and it works. Then, and only then, help people next to you if necessary.
If you do it the other way round you are a helpful person for sure, but you might as well dying in trying to help the person next to you and if you don’t succeed that person will die too.
So, how does that apply to situations where it’s not about oxygen masks?
Sleep enough if possible. Sleep and rest is always a good investment in your health and emotional wellbeing. And if you feel better you will be a happier person and you as well as others will appreciate it.
Value your work. If you have a side project going (it may be your writing or something else) that you’re passionate about, try doing it before you go to work, not afterwards. Use your best energy for your self before you spend it on others.
Being empathetic but distanced. When people all around you feel bad, listen to them, help them if you want and can, but distance yourself emotionally. It doesn’t help anyone when you feel bad for them because they feel bad. On the contrary. The more you make sure you stay emotionally balanced, the more you can be there for others.
How to get and stay emotionally well-balanced?